


maybe i can never fly

by ipreferlemonpie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, I dont know how to tag, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, SHEITH - Freeform, Soft keith, shiro centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 03:30:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipreferlemonpie/pseuds/ipreferlemonpie
Summary: And Shiro should have known that anything that starts with fire ends in ash.





	maybe i can never fly

And Shiro should have known that anything that starts with fire ends in ash.

xx

The first time he hears of the prodigious rookie, he's walking through the halls of the Garrison and people are talking about him, about how this kid broke every record, including Shiro's, in his first time in the sim. 

People expected Shiro to be angry, but he was intrigued.

The second time, the name Keith Kogane is said with less awe, and pure distaste. He hears the words in Iverson's mouth and they sound as if glass were cutting his tongue. 

"He is a problem child," the older man barks,  "does not care for his peers or authorities, no discipline and too abrasive."

Shiro remains silent, he has never met Keith. He has never even seen him. 

The third time, the awe is gone. Everyone speaks of Keith like he were a necessary evil. There's a mix of dislike and envy in the voices of students and officers alike. 

"He's such an asshole," says a kid, shorter than Shiro but lanky with brown skin and lighter eyes.   
"I'm not sure not knowing your name, Lance, counts as assholery," replies a kid bigger and with darker skin than the other one. 

Shiro ignores them and continues his way to the simulator room, by this time it should be unoccupied. Shiro wanted to watch the recordings of Keith's flight simulations.

He is surprised when he sees another person there already in a sim. The screen above shows the sim currently running, it's a hard one, and the pilot is flying it expertly but not like a trained pilot would; it's mesmerizing to watch, it's instinct driven and fast. 

When the sim ends, out comes a boy with black long hair and pale skin, he is of average height and his body is lean with compact muscle. Shiro locks eyes with him and realizes his eyes are violet, breath sticks in his throat. 

"Your flight was almost perfect," Shiro says. "I'm Takashi, but everyone calls me Shiro."

"I know," the stranger replies, brows furrowed. Eyes defiant. "The Garrison's golden boy."

Shiro rubs at the back of his neck, "what's your name?"

"Like you don't know," he bites back, rolling his eyes. 

"I don't, that's why I'm asking".

The boy seems thrown off, gaze surprised. 

"I'm Keith," he says after a few seconds, "Kogane."

Shiro's surprise is evident in his face, as he feels his eyebrows almost disappear into his hairline.

"What?" Keith's eyes narrow as he crosses his arms over his chest, stand defensive. 

"I thought you'd be taller," Shiro smiles, Keith looks surprised at the comment, probably had been waiting for barb wired words. "I can help you out, with your curves, if you want, they are too narrow. Your landing is also a bit off."

Keith seems to consider this, like he is waiting for Shiro to put a condition, a but, a price. Shiro only smiles.

"Okay."

 

After that, Shiro and Keith meet twice a week in the sims; after the first few times they start to hang out together out of the simulation room. After a month, people start to notice the way they are almost always together, the way they've become each other's shadow. 

People whisper about how Shiro is wasting time, about Keith being too volatile and hostile, never amount to anything despite the pure, raw talent. 

Shiro ignores them all as he puts his hand around Keith's throat as they fuck in his bed, murmures sweet nothings into Keith's ear as the other loses his breath. 

They don't have to know, Shiro thinks as he presses at Keith's throat, his short nails carving crescent moons onto Shiro's back. The only proof of what happens behind Shiro's closed doors. 

 

If anyone asked Shiro how it all started, this thing between them, he would be at a loss of words.   
One day, they were inside one of the sims and suddenly they were kissing, Keith's back pressed against the controls, no sounds but Keith's gasps and the wet of their lips against each other. After that, they couldn't stop, not even when Shiro said he was 23, five years too old for Keith; the other scoffed before sinking to his knees and taking him inside his mouth. Shiro didn't stop Keith that time, or the one after, or the one after when Keith asked Shiro to choke him. 

Shiro learnt that when it came to fucking, Keith was compliant contrary to how he was with everything else. In bed (if they made it to the matress), he liked being told what to do, he liked to feel pain. Keith loved it when Shiro would pull at his hair, when he would bite hard enough to almost draw blood, when Shiro put his hand around his neck, and when he was tied up. Keith loved it when Shiro spanked him and when he manhandled him.   
For Shiro, it was an awakening. Keith had sparked something in him, that thrived on Keith's choked back sobs, on the collar of bruises around his neck that Keith would conceal every morning, on the red skin of Keith's ass cheeks. 

Shiro didn't know how it started, but he knew he didn't want it to stop.

 

It was no surprise then, when Shiro realized he loved Keith. He had liked Keith before, not even romantically, just as friends who were attracted sexually to each other. The reveal was not earth shattering, no rug was pulled from under his feet, no cosmic flare in his skies, not eye opening. It was quiet acceptance, it was a whispered oh, it was like feeling like something had been slotted into place and suddenly Shiro was in orbit, centred.   
And so, fucking became love-making. And Keith would sob a soft "Takashi" instead of the loud calls of Shiro before, though Keith still wanted it hard and rough, it somehow became gentle; even if Shiro would still wrap his hand around Keith's windpipe, or shove his face against the pillow or wall or floor. It was loving. 

 

So Shiro was not surprised when Keith said "I can't be your secret anymore, Shiro." His first name forgotten between the sheets of thei- his bed. 

"You know I can't," Shiro said, shoulders tense, eyes averted. 

"I love you," it was the first time any of them said it aloud, "You know that, and I'm not going to be your dirty secret."

"You said it was fine," he begged.

"It was, before," Keith admitted with a rueful smile. "I didn't mind being your quick fuck, your outlet, because I liked the secrecy of it, it spiced things up." 

"Tell me what bothers you? It's not your title; the Garrison doesn't care about officer-student relationships as long as they are both of legal age and you hold no teaching position." 

Shiro stares at Keith, it was unlike him to be this subdued. There was no trace of his usual fire, no bared teeth, no stubborn set of his jaw, no harsh words. It seemed as if Keith had already had this conversation several times and the outcome had not changed, he was defeated.

"Some of the higher-ups do not approve of homosexual relationships," Shiro says honestly, looking down. "I can't lose possible missions..." 

The unspoken "because of you" hangs in the space between them; Keith sitting on the bed, fully clothed, and Shiro standing, shirtless, shoulders haunched. Guilt, shame, selfhate. Keith smiles sadly as he stares at his hands, it was a confirmation to something he already knew; Shiro could read him like an open book, and he had never hated himself for this before. Now, Shiro wanted every emotion on Keith's face to be a mystery. 

"Okay," Keith says before standing up. "I've gone through this with every foster family I've been with, it won't kill me " and then, he leaves.

Shiro's feet shift with the urge to follow, his palms itch like saying hold him, please, before he is gone. Shiro does none, he simply goes to sleep.

The next morning, Shiro is briefed on the Kerberos mission.

He sees Keith for the next seven months like a ghost in the halls, and people notice how they no longer orbit each other. There are whispers about how Shiro gave up, about how Keith, in the end, is a lost cause, how the golden boy could do nothing to better his behavior.   
Keith takes every word like a rock wall takes every ocean wave, sure that there is no damage, only to notice with the pass of time how the water and sea salt have eroded its surface. Shiro sees the haunting boy, sharp, and stealthy, people avoid him without knowing they are doing it. How he marches like death upon a battlefield. 

Shiro is guilty and yet he does nothing, everyone thought Shiro was so brave, but he never was, not when it mattered. 

He walks through the Garrison past lights out the night before take off. He is antsy, and there's a weight in his chest that won't let him sleep. Shiro is turning left when he hears laughs followed by the crunch of bone on bone and a pained groan, he walks faster and finds Keith surrounded by four older students.   
The younger boy has a split lip and his teeth are red with blood, one of the older boys is holding his face, blood flowing from his nose. 

"Hey! Break it off," Shiro yells as he jogs towards the group. "Get going before I report you!" 

The older students look at him with fear before running away, Keith is left in the same spot, angry eyes turn towards him; fists still held up and poised as if to fight. 

"I didn't need your help." 

"I know," Shiro says sincerely, he knows Keith could have beaten the four students in a matter of minutes. "But I didn't want things to escalate." 

Keith keeps on glaring at him but accepts the offered towel Shiro hadn't used at the gyn, Keith hisses as he dabs at the cut. 

"Come with me," Shiro says as he keeps walking towards his sleeping quarters, not needing to look behind to see if the younger was following. 

 

That night, they end up fucking. Split lip be damned, every kiss tasting like iron and melancholy.   
Shiro takes his time unraveling Keith, making him plead and moan and tremble, pressing kiss after searing kiss to the inside of Keith's velvet soft thighs. He bites and he sucks, leaving purple blossoms all over Keith's body; marking him as if repeating mine mine mine, over and over. Keith's hand finds Shiro's short hair and pulls with every quivering gasp and moan he coaxes from the younger, tears shining bright from Keith's cheeks.   
Shiro doesn't turn Keith around like he normally does, he keeps the boy on his back as he fucks him, hand secured around Keith's throat, the sting of scratches on Shiro's back make his blood boil with want.   
Shiro wants to say he loves Keith, wants to wax poetic, and compose sonets in his name. He wants to stay in their bed forever. But wanting does not change the fact that he is leaving tomorrow, and so whenever the words threaten to spill from his tongue, Shiro clenches his jaw and fucks Keith a little rougher. 

They reach their orgasms together, in sync. Keith wraps his arms around Shiro's shoulders and bites and sucks at his neck as he comes untouched over their stomachs, purple blossoming where his neck meets his shoulder. 

"I promise I'll come back to you," Shiro says as soon as he is coherent enough to do so. "I'm not asking you to wait for me, but if you will have me when the mission ends, then we will not have to be a secret anymore." 

Keith doesn't answer but presses a soft kiss to Shiro's jaw. They sleep tangled in each other, as if they ended where the other began, one being in two bodies.

 

Shiro breathes once, twice, before stepping into the arena, bright light blinding him, foreign tongues chanting Champion over and over.

 

Shiro had wanted to keep his promise.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 2am and in my phone so I hope it doesn't suck too much. I just have too many feelings for these boys.
> 
> Also the title is unrelated because I suck at them. It's a lyric from a BTS song.


End file.
